Monday, December 8, 2014

We'll never be royals

Where do I begin? The last month has been a bitch.

Maor left. Did I mention that? I dont actually remember. Days run together.

I cant get Lea and I adjusted because Im being chased around by my Grandma and Aunt on a regular basis. You would think it would be helpful having other people around the house when your working and trying to raise a child but it is exactly the opposite. Everything I do is under a microscope.
I made boxed mac & cheese for me and Lea last night, we didnt eat it all so I threw what we didnt eat out. This morning I got a lecture on throwing food away. It was on sale... it was my $0.50 to waste...fuck off.
If I use a sandwich bag to store raw chicken and toss it out the bag will be sitting on the counter the next day, along with everything else I threw in the trash. I will get a lecture on how wasteful I am.
While I admit I have been lethargic and reclusive in the last month (mostly due to whats been going on and the house Ive been living in) their incessant need to govern my life is also getting to Lea.

We need a new routine. My aunt insists on dragging her out to different places constantly. She says my pulling her from daycare upsets her so she drags her around from place to place while Im working and says "see she needs friends, shes getting worse!" when Lea is tired and cranky.
I snapped about a week ago and told her that Lea's being cranky was that her routine is FUCKED! No dad, her not sticking to the schedule I had, being dragged to the Y all the time. We may not talk about what is going on in front of her but she knows. Shit is not right and its messing with her little world.

Thanksgiving my aunt didnt go to my mothers house with me because she didnt want my mom telling HER how to deal with my divorce.

My aunt makes stupid jokes about how my next divorce will be better.

Gramzy would be great if she didnt feel the need to tell you how to do everything.

I decided to kill Sumomo this morning. Shes been marking in corners of the house for months and throwing up all over. Yesterday I found she peed on Leas stuffed animal and chair so I washed both and she had peed on them again within hours.

Judge me if you want...Im fucking use to it now with my family.
Its a cat vs child situation at this point. I will always pick my daughter.

Gramzy kept an eye on Lea while I took Sumomo to the vet.
I think Sumomo knew she was going to die or she was much sicker than I thought. Last time I took her to a vet they wouldnt see her because she was aggressive towards them. I warned this vet that would happen and instead of a fight to the death she laid down and died. She made more of a fuss when I sneezed then when they stuck the needle in her.

I hate myself. I killed my cat, I cant keep a husband, I cant throw out coffee grounds without someone having something to say about it .

If Im not at rock bottom than I dont ever EVER want to get closer. Its too hard to get out of bed as it is.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Fuck you

The final nail is in the coffin. I wont go throwing my dirty laundry all over the internet but I will say Im a strong bullheaded woman who heard something no one should hear in a relationship.

"Your not worth it."

For 2 days I held it together. I started filing for divorce. I held my head up and pushed on. On the 3rd day I crumbled and cried all day long. I should have called in sick to work. Especially after I had to explain to half my family why Maor wasnt home. I didnt. Im not even going to pretend that I really worked. I'll make up the hours Sunday. I feel bad for the people I work with, they probably think Im a scatter brained idiot.  I wasnt focused. I havent been focused. I was so worried about saving a marriage that cant be saved because I REALLY dont like being a 30 year old single mother.

Now I see where I need to be. I need to pull on my big girl pants, focus on Lea and work and maybe get the hell out of dodge. I hate MN. 4 years I havent made any friends. People here are only nice to your face.

I am worth it. Lea is worth it.

Fuck you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


No one should blog during lady rain season but fuck it, Ive exhausted imgur, Im out of shows to watch on Hulu, and Im running dangerously low on cupcakes!

This is one of the love/hates about my new job. I love that Im feeling like a shitty crampy mess and can avoid going anywhere. But I have no reason to get out of this funk. Sure, I have to pick Lea up from daycare in a couple hours but that only requires throwing on a sweatshirt, and seeing as I show up right before nap time everything is quiet and no one gets too chatty. Perfect.
When I have a crappy shift... like last night where I kept making stupid mistake after mistake and was so off I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die (Im being dramatic... but Im in pain and on my last cupcake at this point so the whole world is fucking ending) I couldnt do the whole "I wanna go home!" Cause I am home. Here I am. Unable to escape my stupid.

In all seriousness though I do love the job. I think its interesting, I love the people I work with, Im really in love with my hours. When they first asked me if I could do a night shift I wasnt sure because I was so stuck on the 9-5 but really its perfect. I spend my days (that Im not hiding under the covers in pain) getting shit done and playing with Lea. I got all the Halloween costumes done (5 dresses), the house is always clean, and food is always ready to be on the table. I rock.

I cut Lea down to 3 half days at daycare now. Im weighing the pros and cons of pulling her out of daycare all together. My aunt and Grandma will be here next weekend until the end of Dec so I have zero worries about needing a baby sitter but I want her to have social interaction outside of my crazy family.
Actually now that Im sitting back and really thinking about it all I really want her in daycare for is social interaction. Im very structured at home, I dont need to worry about her being behind for preschool because Im a nut for learning activities and so are my aunt and Grandma. I have also noticed that when I meet moms at the playground on the weekdays they are MUCH more open to talking then Moms I meet on weekends. Im sure I could find a winter tumbling class or play group that would be so much cheaper.
Taking her out all together would be like gaining another paycheck. Cutting her down to 3 times a week saves us $400 a month. Taking her out entirely would be another $650 savings per month. Thats huge!
If I change my mind I could just put her back in. She hates waking up early anyway.
It will also save me from the awkward Christmas party moment. Awesome!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Finding myself

I have been gone a long time without saying anything. I have stretched myself out. 
Im getting use to a new job where my schedule bounces around a bit. I also decided to make 2 more Halloween costumes for my little sister. 

So for the past month if I havent been working or with my daughter, I have been sewing.

I also havent wanted to blog because I dont like to think. I dont want to put out into the world my hopes, my fears, my wishes. I have someone else to think about. I need to find stability for her. 

I need to find my own happiness. I think I have it now. If I dont then its so close.

I wont lie. Im sad. Sadder than I have ever been. 

Im trying not to be. 

Things are changing. Good and bad changes. Im just focusing all my energy on what matters most. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

New job!

If you read my blog at all you know Ive been bitching, and bitching, and BITCHING about my job lately.
Its not a hard job. I loved my job. I couldnt believe people paid me to do what I thought was stupidly easy. Answer the phone, process the contracts, fix shit, sing my ABC's on occasion, harass people to pay their damn bill. Not hard. Sure you have to do it all at once but still...not hard.
It was perfect until they hired the idiot. Then I had the work of 3 people because one person refused to do more than the 4 things in her job description from 14 years ago and this new person is just...stupid. I said she was stupid to management on many occasions... once in a screaming profanity filled rant that not only lasted an hour but left them in complete shock because I NEVER lose my cool.
The job still wasnt hard. It just wasnt fair that I got to pick up the slack for 2 other people. Not only that but its really frustrating having to retrain someone EVERY DAY because goldfish have a better memory. 

So when someone asked me if I was looking for a job I said "YES!"

I dont think I actually expected to get the job but I did. 

I told my boss and he asked me to finish out the month but not tell anyone. I think he was in denial.
Yesterday I walked in to his office and said, "You know I only have 2 weeks left. When are you going to tell everyone? I have to at least make an attempt to train SOMEONE on how to handle certain accounts and do my reports."
He said not to worry about it, he would tell everyone Monday, and he had a plan.

I really want to know what his plan is because the senior isnt going to take on my job and the idiot will fuck up all my big accounts. Not to mention that the techs refuse to talk to anyone but me (seriously half my day has turned in to jumping from tech on hold to tech on hold because they say "Your the only one who knows what the fuck is going on")
I feel bad leaving them (the techs) like this but they (management) shot themselves in the foot long ago. What else do you expect when you have people who think covering their own ass from an almost unlikely lawsuit is more important than having quality employees?

Anyway, Im really excited about this new job. Im most excited about the fact that I will get to spend a lot more time with Lea now because my schedule is pretty damn sweet. 
And its not corporate! Im going to dye my hair a funny color just like I always wanted to do and never could!! 
Seriously, you dont know the feeling of freedom just being able to do that. My little sister (who is a senior in highschool next year) keeps saying she wants to dye her hair purple but cant get the courage. I keep telling her to do it because if she doesnt now she wont ever be able to again (Im pretty sure my eye twitches when I tell her).

I start full time in two weeks. I've been training after work when I can for a few weeks already which is nice because its extra income now which is going to help a lot with some unexpected bills we had. Its also going to help because I used all my vacation at my now old job at the beginning of the year and they are going to end up taking a portion of that back out of my last paycheck so this will make up for that loss. 

I feel like I got very very lucky. (Thanks! :) )

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Rescheduled show

Hey guys. I need to reschedule the show for tonight. Im not sure to when yet. 

We decided a few weeks ago that it was time to get Lea off her pacifier. We cut it down to just for bedtime use but I decided it was time for it to go because if it falls out of her mouth at night she just screams for me until I get up, find it behind her head or under a stuffed animal and stick it back in her mouth.

We decided we were going to try the "its broken" method. So last weekend I poked a hole in it so it didnt work right. She was unfazed. She noticed it wasnt the same but kept biting it. So last night after a glass of wine while Lea wasnt looking I decided enough was enough and there was no good time for this kind of thing anyway....and cut the bulb off so it was good and broken.

Oh the crying. The dramatic pouts of "nunu! nunu! its broken!" 
I found an extra in the diaper bag but I didnt cave. 

She didnt go to sleep until 10pm (normally shes asleep by 8:30) and she was up crying at 6am. 

Maor thinks she will take a good nap and be in bed early because she seems to be just fine running around playing. I dont think so. 
Im expecting a fight during nap time and bed time. Which means Im going to miss my own show.

Also, the lady rain started again. I thought I had a few days. 

So as soon as my weather clears up and Lea is sleeping again I'll reschedule. Sorry guys!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Please dont sue me

So like I said in my last post Im trying to make a Frozen costumes for me and Lea.
I also did a good/bad thing and promised a cousin who has sent me a ton of hand me downs that I would make her 4 year old an Elsa costume after I made a facebook post about my Halloween plans. I seriously owe her, when she asked there was no way I could say no.

The fabric is all 50% off till the end of next weekend but I just cant afford it right now.

So Im doing a show on Camwhores tomorrow night to help fund the material I need to make my costume and get extra fabric for my cousins kid.

Of course I'll be using my costume in a super special show later on Camwhores.
I thought about making videos to sell but that might get me in hot water.... I dont fear much but Disney lawyers seem scary.

After much thought I think the safest way to go about this is to say... those who tip during my show tomorrow or donate through the rest of the week will get special cosplay pictures when I finish my costume. I can also offer a free week to Camwhores if you arent or havent already been a member.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

I believe I can see the future

Im trying to keep myself occupied. I started on Leas Halloween costume. I spent WAY more than I thought I would on it but most of that is because of the thread I need to use to do the embroidery.

I am plowing through it faster than I want which is good and bad. Good because I can start on my Elsa costume. Bad because I cant afford to start my Elsa costume.

I need to keep my head buried though. Well, its not so much a need as a want...

If I have room to think of other things then I feel. I dont like to feel.

Its actually pretty funny that I decided to make Lea Anna and myself Elsa. Lea is my little summer bug. Social, bright, and so full of life. Im trying so hard to hide everything from everyone around me, I dont like to feel anything. If I do start to get emotional I hide so no one sees it. I want to be a rock.

...I have issues...

Long ago I dated a guy who called me his winter girl. Whatever reasons you can think for a man calling a woman that are all right. Thats what I am. Im a winter girl.

I dont think I was ever meant to know summer.

Friday, June 6, 2014

D is for..

I havent been talking a lot lately. I just feel like if you dont anything nice/good to say dont say anything at all.
ONLY because I am a person who likes to keep up appearances. I am a god damn Princess Kate. My skirt flew up but YOU DIDNT FUCKING SEE A THING *charming smile*

I dont want to rock the boat unless I know its really a titanic with no fucking life boats. I know its the titanic when I need to call my mother. I can hear the violins while I dial her number...or just push the favorites button on my Iphone.

I called my mother tonight.

I told her Maor and I are getting a divorce.

Im grateful that she sounded understanding. She offered to come up for the weekend. I said that would be weird. Im sure if we were in Israel Maors mom would be in in our house before you could say "Oi" which makes me very glad we arent in Israel. When I made the joke to mom she asked where Leas passport was. Its hidden already and has been for 2 months. Thats how deep in we are.

I want to say its a mutual thing. I WANT to say that because while we have been fighting a down hill battle for months I want to think one of us will pop up and find the power to fight on.. Its probably not going to happen. I know my faults. I know what I want. I have made both clear for years. I have made clear what I want out of a partner and its not something Maor is willing to give. (We are not talking caming. Caming has nothing to do with any arguments)

In the same aspect, Maor may or may not know his faults, I cant say if he knows what he wants, but what it is doesnt seem to be me.

Its sad. I want to be angry but Im just sad. We have a child together and cant make things work. I would like to think we dont NOT like each other. Its just a case of us not actually fitting as a couple. We just dont work. I can say with certainty that I tried.

Sometimes people just dont work together.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Meet the neighbors

Our new house is a town house. Renting is very nice but I will NEVER get the appeal of buying one of these things. Your attached to your neighbors. You cant do what you want with your yard. You have you pay association dues. Honestly, I think it sucks.

The place we are renting is very nice. Most of the neighbors are seniors. Its quiet. I have had more polite conversations about annual plants in the past week than Ive have in my life.
Maor has met our attached neighbors. They are not seniors. They are from Bolivia. Maor hasnt said anything about them besides that they are from Bolivia and are a little older than us. I have seen them in passing and noticed they drive cars with spinners and seem like the show offish type. My only interaction with them was when they cracked a window a couple days ago while we were having a BBQ and said, "Is it someones birthday?" and I yelled "Nope! We're just partying for the hell of it!"

Earlier this evening I decided to walk out on to one of our patios and noticed out of the corner of my eye that the neighbors lights where on. Being the nosy woman I am I looked in. Whatever room it was looked like a sauna room just by the wood. So I thought "Ooooo! A Sauna!" Then I saw the TV.....then I saw the neighbor in all his glory spread out in a lounge chair scratching his balls. It was not a pretty sight. I ran back in to the house and may never venture out on to that porch again.

Honestly, I have thoughts about seeing neighbors in vulnerable ways. Like Rob, the last neighbor who didnt talk to me for  3 years. Sure his mothers bras hanging on the laundry  all summer kinda killed any sex appeal. (I can say it now that we moved. The man did have some sex appeal. All female neighbors gave him 2 thumbs up. Especially while he mowed the lawn  There was a reason we had our "happy hour" picnic then.)

Im just saying now it makes me a little nervous that maybe Ive been a bit too loosy goosy about my shades being open.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

If all goes well, that was my idea

About a month and a half ago I pointed out to my boss that once summer craziness kicks in us admin will not be able to keep up with stupid time consuming shit corporate thinks we should do now on top of our normal duties...especially because one of our 3 person team is...a total fucking idiot.
Apparently firing people is hard (I keep trying to convince them to let me have a talk with her because I would bet money she would voluntarily quit after I was done but apparently they are afraid that I would cross a line and get myself in trouble) so we cant get rid of the dead weight before summer hits hard. So I threw out the idea of getting a part timer. A kid who can do the filing, the tedious scripted calls, and do stupid tedious stuff managers dont want to do either. My boss said, "How am I supposed to find that?" I said, "Easy, get some kid who needs job experience and a little money. A teenager who just needs something to make them look a little better on paper."
A couple weeks later a scrawny teenager ran in asking for my boss and out again with a drug test sheet.

Today I pointed out again that its getting busier and if corporate thinks an office of our size can keep up with their bullshit they are mistaken. My boss said, "I hired a part timer!"
The woman who has been around forever nearly fell out of her chair. She thought he was joking. He said he wasnt. She walked up to me when he was out of the room and asked what I knew about it. I told her about the conversation we had a few weeks ago. We laughed about how it would be funny if the kid was better than the spaz.

I thought to myself, if this goes well I damn well better get credit for this idea.
On the flip side judging by the way the kid was dressed when he first came in, age, and overall attitude hes either related to my boss or is probably a kid he coached for baseball which makes me hope he isnt some little asshole.
Im also going to have to start watching my language. I swear like a fucking sailor.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014


Now before I begin I need to say thank you. Thank you again to everyone that watched my show, thank you to everyone that tipped. Ive made 2? thank you posts and put up a few thank you tweets but really I mean it, THANK YOU!
I choose my best friend to do the photo op with me. Shes been having a horrible year. Want to know how horrible? She had 10 thousand in savings when 2014 started. Now shes living paycheck to paycheck thinking about selling her house. Thats fucking rough. Shes always been there for me and Im pretty sure I owe her money from 7 years ago.... but shes the kind of friend who would never bring that up. So yeah, I said "This ones on me...well, actually its not really on me its on the internet but as long as your cool with me posting some photos from the day I dont think the internet will mind I shared." She said I can post her photos but no names.
So I need to make a key to make this easier:

Ariel- my bestie (the girl in the Black Widow costume)
Kiki- very good friend (Steam punk outfit)
Tina- Girl dressed as Yuna, I dont know her well at all. Shes mostly Kikis friend.
Jessica- Princess Leah with the adorable Ewok baby
Matt- Han Solo

Friday I met up with all of my girlfriends at the hotel they were staying at. We went out for a cheap dinner, we went through the schedule for the panels on Saturday and decided what we wanted to go see, we made plans to meet up when the doors open, we headed back to the hotel to coordinated outfits and check on a part of our group that hadent called to say they were at the hotel yet.
When we walked in to the hotel we saw an elevator open and ready to go up. So like the adults we are we sent one of our own running to the elevator to stop it so we didnt have to wait. Kiki, who isnt easily embarrassed was the one who went barreling in to the elevator to mash the open button while the rest of us got on. I noticed she was beat red and doing a little dance but didnt think anything of it. We got off at our floor, departed the elevator, and walked half way down the hallway before she blurted out "Did you see WHO was in the elevator with us?" the rest of looked at her and said, "no". "IT WAS IAN ZIERING!!"
We had to google him. (poor guy, I heard he had 17 people at his panel too)
We grabbed Ariels stuff and headed over to my house (she couldnt afford the hotel, I offered to house everyone but you cant argue with being attached to the event center)
We stayed up for a bit fluffing wigs and shooting the shit but turned in pretty early.
Ariel and I are people who like to be on time.

Saturday morning we got dressed up and headed out. Lea was super confused.
We stopped for coffee next door to my house. People looked at us in our costume like we were nuts. We pulled up to the hotel again and booked it to the conference center to get our wrist bands. Ariel and I  walked around the floor a bit looking at vendors and taking pictures. My feet started to hurt by 11am so we ran up to the hotel room and I went in to ballet flats. By that time the rest of our group was ready to join us so we headed down again and took many pictures on the way.
 Didnt like that the person who took our picture didnt ask but Im more OK with it now that I found it on Reddit and got him to send me copies

Fury... 10am and he was 2 wisky cokes in...with his 8 year old taking pictures. Nice guy...but not the best dad. You meet all kinds I guess.

Who you gunna call?

 Immediatly after taking this picture he asked "Do you know if they have lockers here?" Ariel yelled, "Doesnt everything fit in your hat?" 

I broke my time machine next week.

Ariel looking awesome in 2 months

Not in our group, and Shepard thought I was from GOT but they were still cool

 Zelda was not in our group but she was damn cool.

These guys were also not in our group but we met them in a bar later and they were fun.

After walking around and taking MANY pictures, mostly us taking pictures with people, we lined up for our photo op. It went FAST. Seriously, it was "Oh my god there they are, what? Smile? OK! BYE!"
I remember seeing Adam Baldwin and Nathan Fillion. I think I shook someones hand. Nathan said he liked my costume. I blurted out that my little sister was a fan. Ariel laughed. There as a flash. Nathan said my sister had great taste. Ariel and I stumbled out and stood at the exit for a moment going "What the fuck just happened?"
We collected ourselves and waited for the rest of our group to come through who were just as star struck as us. We all geeked like teenage girls (even Matt) for a moment then decided it was time to head to the panels.
Ariel and I decided to stand in line for the Karen Gillan panel. We made it in by the skin of our teeth. Our friends did not make it in. Their loss. Karen is super cute. 
We sat through the Michael Rooker panel... which was a little unorganized but entertaining. 
Then we saved seats for the slackers in our group to get in to the Nathan Fillion/Adam Baldwin panel. I wish I had gotten up to ask my question about the new comic book thats out. But I didnt. 
After the panel Ariel and I ran to the photo area to get our photo. It wasnt there...
Ariel and I began to panic. Did someone take our photo? Who the hell would do that?
We asked a girl there. She looked at us and said, "Oh! Your friend Matt took it for you!" Ok. Then we asked how to get the digital copy we upgraded to getting. While another guy was explaining how we get our JPEG one of the photo bouncers walked over and said "Why did Nathan have such a grip on you?" 
I couldnt answer him...I didnt even know what he was talking about because I hadent seen the photo yet but apparently my photo was a day favorite because it looked like Nathan had a death grip on me. 
We chit chatted with the bouncer for a bit and he shared some of his favorite celeb photos he had where his friends had photo shopped the background. Like him and Captain Jack looking like they are at prom.
Dude was cool as hell.
Matt found us while we were chit chatting with the bouncer and handed over our photo. This is what everyone was raving about:
I hate the look on my face but at the same time, "I am the special"

While Ariel and I were staring at our picture the freaking original Green Ranger popped up (literally) and started reeving up his photo crowd right next to us. I could have grabbed his ass he was so close. I wasnt a fan of power rangers but Maor appreciated that part of the story.

After we calmed down a bit we headed over to the costume contest. While walking in we looked at the line of people waiting to be judged and Ariel said to Tina "We made your costume in less than a week. You should be in this." Tina doesnt have much of a back bone so she said "Ok" and walked to the back of the costume contest line. Ariel, Kiki, and a Comic Con volunteer then looked at me and said, "You guys go together... you should go to."
I said, "Hell no! I sign up for EVERY costume contest and NEVER win. Im going to sit down and watch for once."
The volunteer said I shouldnt give up but left it at that and walked away. My girlfriends however gave me disappointing looks until I gave in threw my hands in the air and walked back to join Tina for judgment.

We were 2nd to dead last in line. 
People were too tired to cheer to people in front of us even the ones that were decent.

Thats why when we walked up I was blow away but the screams we got. The crowd went WILD. 

We didnt win anything but we got a lot of compliments.
The people who did win totally deserved it!

After the contest we headed to the bars (in costume). Ariel and I didnt make it back to my house till after 3:30. We didnt care what time we went to bed because we were the only ones in our group to not have full weekend access. 
We did get back to the hotel around 11:30 though to try and grab Kiki and Tina for a brunch before the Matt Smith panel. We got there too late but decided to wonder down to the convention center to people watch. Ariel and I were walking by the conference room Matt Smith was in moping about how we were too broke to see it when they opened the exit doors. We stopped, scotched over, and peeked in. Gradually we inched all the way in. We saw the whole panel for free. 
It was fantastic! The prefect end to a nerdy weekend!
When the panel ended we grabbed a celebratory coffee and I kept Ariel company outside the convention center while Kiki and Tina shopped in the areas we couldnt get to.
We saw a couple great costumes:

Around 3 Kiki and Tina were done stopping so they packed up their car and went back to WI and I drove back home.

It was a great weekend!! 

Im currently planning on building my anime con costume and Ren faire costume. If you would like to donate towards the fabric and/or ticket prices please donate again. 

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Minneapolis Comic Con

I have never been to a Con, ever. It seems like I should have a long time ago. I do Ren fares like Sunday church (seriously, knights know me), Im all up in that Scifi and video game stuff, and when I say I have a costume closet I mean I have dedicated space that goes from "coolest geek costume I made by hand" to "just throw slutty before the character name".

When a friend of mine posted about this Comic Con I was all in from the get go. But as it got closer and we had some bad luck and bad luck turned into horrible luck and horrible luck turned in to "we are treading water" I was really down that I wouldnt be able to find a place in the budget for this.
Which is why I say "Thank-you, Thank-you, THANK-YOU!!" with all of my heart to everyone who watched my show and who contributed to this.
Its actually not only me who says thank you, my best friend who has also been going through a horrible year...a REALLY horrible year.. we both say THANK YOU!!

Im too tired to do a full post on the day and we are trying to collect EVERYONES pictures from our group. For now I leave you with this:

Tomorrow or Tuesday I will do a full play by play of the awesome 48 hours that was comic con.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The move in

Friday my aunts things finally got here.
I took half the day off thinking they would be here at 2pm but they didnt show up till 5. That was ok seeing as it was a beautiful day out so I sat out on the porch with Lea watching her play and reading a book.
When they did show up I said, "My aunts not here but I know everything." They looked at me like "Oh shit, Ive heard that before" but lightened up when I actually did know everything.
When I told my aunt her things where here she drove straight from CO where she was visiting my cousin to here. She got in at 1am on Saturday.

Saturday was spent unpacking her important things. Maor helped her with a lot of it. My Grandma and I hid in the kitchen and made excuses to go out. Saturday was also Maors birthday. I made him cupcakes but we didnt do much to celebrate. He doesnt like to celebrate his birthday and I think he wore himself out moving furniture.

Sunday I didnt get out of bed. I had been fighting a soar throat all week and Sunday it kicked my ass. I took a nyquil and passed out. When I woke up around noon Lea was trying to show me something she found in my aunts boxes. I went back to sleep and when I woke up around 6pm the house was a nick-nack mess.

Monday I rushed out the door but noticed a few things... prints of art in 90's frames on the wall, halloween table cloth on the kitchen table, christmas table cloth on the dinning room table... I didnt say anything.

When I got home I took in the full extent of my aunts...unusual decorating. Its special. Shes stuck in the early 90's with a tacky twist of dolls and things that you cant quite tell if they are worth something or not because they are old but may just be knock offs. When she leaves...a few things may end up in a closet until she comes back. Like the giant ceramic cupcake...

But besides that everything is great.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Im girl splooging...

Ok, I would like to think that I dont do this often but every time I do I feel like it was 2 days ago.

Im asking for help. Pure selfish help.
Im going to comic con in a couple weeks. I bought the ticket purely so I could dress up and let my freak flag fly until I saw that Nathan Fillion AND Matt Smith will be there. Photos with them cost money. Money I dont have right now after a move.

So Im asking you, with my biggest puppy dog eyes.

Please watch my show on Tue night at 8:30pm central on Camwhores

With your help I could have a fan girl moment and orgasm in public right next to Captian tight pants and Doctor number 11.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tell me how you really feel

Not to throw Maor under the bus but he isnt the best at kitchen cleanliness so Im pretty sure he caused this.

Food poisoning.

I will spare you the gory details.
I called in to work. We slept in a bit. One thing I couldnt miss was turning in our keys to the old land lord. I had to meet him to make sure he was going to give us back our deposit.

I drove in to the drive way with the nostalgia  of "we brought our baby home to this place". That was instantly dashed by the land lords words of "Well, to start out I had to clean an old pool out of the storage shed." I COULD have started laying in to him right then because the pool he was referring to was from the tenants from 3 years ago! I held my tongue. He pointed out a couple other things left in the storage shed that were AGAIN left by the tenants before us and how "I dont mind it because they (these fantastic new renters) might use it".
My stomach was queasy but my blood was boiling...but I kept silent.

Then we walked in to the house and he started talking about how he had to clean the kitchen and the bathroom. I held up a finger and said, "Hold it. I have two issues with your whining. ONE, every place I have ever rented no matter how clean employees a professional to come through and re-clean before a new tenant comes in. TWO, I spent 3 days cleaning this house to a livable level before we moved in. I hand scrubbed the floors 3 times before they stopped coming up with dirt, the heating radiators in every room where so packed with dust and hair you couldnt see through them, and the dust under every window blind was so thick I could grab it with my hand. So if your looking for sympathy I left my violin in the car!"
We mostly silently walked from room to room until we got down to the security deposit. I said, "I would really like that check NOW post dated if you like because that would be most convenient for me."
He walked away... I laughed, out loud. It was an evil laugh. The most evil laugh you could ever imagine.
It was exactly what I wanted. He said, "I have my rights as a land lord to 21 days before I return your deposit." I laughed and said, "THAT, is what I wanted. Remember that feeling every time you ask your tenants for a post dated check. That 'YOU BITCH' feeling."
He said, "I never did that to you."
I yelled "BULLSHIT! I can show you the texts of every time you ever asked us to pay our rent early!! Give me a reason to prove it in court cause Ive been saving every voice mail and every text for the pure purpose of this. You are a slum lord! You do not take care of your property and all you ever talk about is 'money money money'!"
He yelled. "I liked dealing with your husband better!"
I yelled, "I bet you did! But while my husband will take your shit, I wont in any way, shape, or form. Which is why you had to start dealing with me."
He said, "Well I just didnt trust you."
Thats when sickness kicked back in. I really wanted to say "You dont trust me over the last neighbor that was always late on rent. Or the new neighbors that are 3 payments behind on their water bill and block their windows with plastic? We paid everything on time every month for 3 years but we cant be trusted?  Go fuck yourself."

Instead I shortened it to "The feeling is mutual. Im very glad to be done with you."

He kept talking after I walked out the door. I finally had to pull out my phone and say "Im late for a meeting." while he was trying to butter over how he wasnt a bad person...all while never being able to make eye contact which bugged me more than his inability to just stop talking.

I drove away and threw up behind a cub foods. I will be damned if I was going to throw up in front of someone I hate.

I also emailed the city and sent them pictures of the mold we found when we moved out.
Maor thinks Im being vengeful. I think Im protecting the next family that signs a lease....and being slightly vengeful.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Cha Cha Changes!!

I wish we had another week alone in the house until my aunt moved in. Lea is wonky (the whole first two years of her life were in the other house so this is LIFE CHANGING), the cat is wonky, we shoved our stuff around so quickly that there is no organization.
 Our goal was just to get our things where they should be so when my aunts movers show up there is plenty of room for her things. Things are just in a state of organized chaos. I also found out the outlets in the downstairs dont have outlet boxes...which is against the law. I emailed the rental company about it and the guy said he was surprised because the town house was built by professional contractors. The more I looked around the more it became clear that the house was built by contractors but the downstairs was updated by a cheap guy who knew just about renovating to change things but not enough to do it right. I have a list going of things that need to be fixed.

 While there are things that need to be fixed I can breath a sigh of relief because its a company handling the house and not a slum lord. YAY! Speaking of slum lords. Maor "ran in to" our soon to be old landlord while he was moving out the last of our things. Dude gave us notice that he was going to show the house last week but showed up 2 hours earlier than he told us. He stood there and whined at Maor about our moving and wanting more of a notice and asking if we were going to sweep up the basement better while Maor was struggling with heavy boxes out of the basement. Finally Maor snapped and said, "Are you just going to stand there yapping and watching me move things? We have been nothing but nice and quiet the whole time we have been here. We always pay on time and even EARLIER when you ask and all you do is complain about money! We are done with you! Now get out of my way!" The last thing the slum lord asked was who was going to do the walk-through. Maor told him it would be me and said his face instantly went pale.

He has not contacted me to try and schedule a time for Tuesday to meet to do the final walk through.
I cant wait though. Im will rip in to him if he even tries to suggest the house isnt clean. I will also be asking him for a post dated security check because it would be more convenient for me purely because I hope he complains. I want to tell him, "That feeling you have right now of "How dare you ask that?" I want you to remember that feeling every time you ask a tenant for a post dated rent check."

Cant wait.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Little boxes

We've moved!! We found a large townhouse for us and my aunt to all live together for at least a year. I did a quick tour on for camwhores members (if your not a member you should be) Im so glad to be out of our old place. When we pulled out our dressers we discovered there was mold growing behind them. I noticed something leaking in the basement months ago and swore up and down I heard dripping in the middle of the night. Turns out I was right and a pipe in the walls is leaking. That was one of MANY issues Im glad to be away from. The major issue being the slum lord. Hes been calling every other day whining about how we should stay until he has another renter so he doesnt lose money. Umm... no. We move in to a very nice secluded townhouse area. We are about 10 minutes from anything besides bars or liquor stores which is going to take some getting use to (Im use to having a grocery store and a 24 hour pharmacy a block away). Also, I havent found a play ground close by. There is a big park close by but nothing with a playground. We have a small yard. Lea has her swing and her little car. If she had a little slide we wouldnt even need a playground. I havent met anyone in person yet but people wave when we drive by. The houses are all close together and populated around us but you could hear a pin drop when you walk outside. Ive noticed the majority of people around us are older which is fine as long as no one has issues with a very loud toddler running around outside. One thing I really LOVE about this house is how open it is. When the sun comes up it fills with natural light! I keep my blinds open every where but sleeping areas because I love the light so much. Of course that means I need to keep my walking around naked to the shadows because we are so close to the neighbors. This morning I walked in front of a window naked and did a full stretch before I noticed the person at their sink straight across from me and went "shit!" and ran for my robe hoping they didnt see me. Another reason Im happy to have moved. More room for toys. Lea's toys! Lea turned 2 today!! We decorated the whole downstairs with a Sesame Street theme. When she got home from daycare we took her down and she gasped and pointed at all the decorations. She put on the little tiara I got her and kicked around the balloons blew up. We had a little picnic in the family room and opened presents. It was a fun little birthday party. We bought her some big toys. A stand up DJ both piano thing, a bunch of foam puzzle pieces, and a little place for her to sit down a color. It really is a good thing we got a bigger place.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

We went to the zoo the zoo the zoo!

Finally! A nice almost warm day! Lea and I took full advantage of it by going to the zoo. I decided I wanted to be there as soon as they opened cause Lea is so little we need to beat the crowds or its just not fun for her. I also got a membership this year (thank you!) so we were second in line to get in but first through the door. Lea was great the whole time. She held my hand most of the time or was very sure not to go far. We only stayed for half the day because half the zoo is still shut down because most exhibits are seasonal. Thats ok though, we had hit everything just in time for nap time.
Unfortunately Lea only got a 20 minute nap because I woke her up trying to get her in the house, out of her jacket and shoes, out of her muddy pants, and in to bed. I gave up trying to get her to sleep after she sat in bed singing for 45 minutes and I noticed she was trying to climb out of the crib. (Maor might be right, we may have to change her to a toddler bed right when she turns 2, she was very close to figuring out how to get out) So now we are chillin on the couch watching Frozen... Im waiting for her to fall asleep sitting up. She looks like a little zombie. I think bed time is going to be early tonight.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Hood 1 done

Well at least I got SOMETHING off my check list. I finally put together one of our family Assassins Creed costumes. I did Leas cloak first because I figured if I messed it up it takes the least amount of fabric. It turned out pretty good. I really should have ironed the edges before I started sewing but Im still learning. It only took me 3 hours to make. (Still learning and I messed around with my sewing machine for about an hour trying to learn all the buttons...I still dont understand most of them.)
We are going to put it on her for the local Purim carnival tomorrow. Im a little excited. We are going to the synagogue that I took my conversion classes at so Im hoping we bump in to some of the couples from our class. I know they have kids. I also want to ask the Rabbi if I can finish where I left off or if I need to start all over.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Pray for the child

I have a hand full of facebooks friends that are religious catholic/christian. I mostly keep them around because we were friends for a bit back when I lived in the deep south and they were truly nice and accepting of me when I was young so I feel rude unfriending them even though most of what they say now as adults insults me as a half agnostic half Jew (meaning I do not believe in god but agree with most of the moral teachings of the Torah and personally prefer to celebrate the Jewish holidays with my Jewish husband over the over merchandised holidays of whoever celebrates Christmas, Easter, and Black Friday.) To be fair I never let my religious preference slip to any of these people in the past or even now because I do not feel that religion or politics are things you should speak about in high school or on twitter with your real name.. especially when extended family can follow you and retweet you before family reunions insuring you NEVER get a good portion of bacon mashed potatoes because you married some jew. (Hes the jew, Im just trying and failing, give me the bacon Great aunt chin hair!) Anyway... One of these friends is going through the tough time of having a sick baby (3 months old in the ICU but hasnt posted what they have) and keeps asking for prayers. That does not bother me. I would actually give up bacon for my child if I thought it would make her better during an ear ache. What bothers me is after a week of only "Pray for my child." followed by heart breaking pictures of a little girl hooked up to machines with NO explanation as to what is going on she posted a picture of trees with white text saying "In tough situations I only trust and thank god." Thats where I had to go, "You only trust god in these times? What about the doctors and nurses that are watching over your baby? Where is their thank you? While I have seen may a "thank you for your prayers" I havent seen a single "thank you nurse"." I didnt actually post that. I would dare upset a good southern family during a hard time... but I really hope she looks up from the floor and tells the actual people standing over her child "Thank you." If she doesnt, here is my small voice... Thank you for your services. Thank you for your dedication. Thank you for caring about a child and their family. Thank you for going to work every day. Lives are in your hands and sometimes we forget that. Please forgive us.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Tell me a story

I didnt have a new years resolution this year. I didnt even think of it during new years. I was too busying trying to remember how to speak Hebrew, and by speak I mean understand basic conversation so I could smile or look concerned/angry at the appropriate times. Now is our downtime at work. Business is stupidly quiet so I get a lot of time to myself to do bills, write emails, do online quizzes, and fuck around in general. I was thinking to myself today, "What do I want to accomplish this year?" The first thing on my list is making Maor, Lea, and I matching Renn faire costumes. We are going with an Assassins Creed theme. Im going to make Maor a hoodie cause he doesnt like to go full cosplay. I will make myself a full Ren wench dress with assassin cloak and Lea will be an adorable fairy with assassin cloak. Second thing I want to do is actually finish my drawing per day resolution I have been trying for for 3 years! I keep saying I will do it but somewhere around April I just get busy and stop. I really want to try that again. I wasnt half bad at drawing when I kept at it. Third thing I want to do which I only just came up with... I want to tell a story every day with cam pictures. Like act out Romeo and Juliet in one day with stupid pictures or show the latest drama of the day in only pictures instead of writing it all out in my blog. (I would still put it in the blog it would just be 90% pictures instead of text). The last one is the hardest but I think will be the most fun. I want to know, what story would you like to see in cam images?

Monday, February 17, 2014

What do you mean you dont want a cupcake?

A local radio station has a Valentines Day contest where they ask people to email them stories about their unromantic boyfriends/husbands.
The top 25 get to dive in to a cake to find a tiny token. The person that finds it gets a trip for 2 to Mexico.

Maor has done a couple of things where if I blow them up and dont mention any of the sweet things he has ever done he sounds REALLY bad. I sent in a story and we were selected as one of the 25 couples.

So Valentines Day we went to Mall of America, they gave Maor cut off shirt with the radio stations name on it and he dove in to cake for me to try and win a trip to Mexico.

We did not win. Maor is not good when it comes to spinning.... throws him right off.
I spun him around 3 times blindfolded and pointed him to the cake. Then he got down on his hands and knees and shifted himself pointing left of the cake. I kept trying to push him in the right direction again but I wasnt sure how far I could knock him around before someone went "steering your husband is cheating" so they said "GO!" and I watched him crawl off in the wrong direction until I think he figured out the cake isnt that far away and went back towards the cake.

Long story short he ended up far FAR away from where the token was found but in all fairness there was no way to know where the hell it was anyway.
It was a fun time, he smelt like cake after (which was a bit of a turn on), and we still got free movie tickets and cupcakes.

...Maor doesnt want a cupcake.

This is the radio stations little video. You can kinda see Maor lost in the background a few times.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Show rescheduled

Sorry guys. I was going back and forth about it in my head last night about if I should reschedule my show due to "ladyrain" as Jay so nicely put it. The decision to reschedule actually came after I woke up this morning and the cold I have been fighting all week finally won. My nose is raw and I cant go 5 minutes without going into a coughing fit.

So I rescheduled for next weekend. We are turning it into a cosplay/ Valentines Day/ possible celebration show. I put that it will only be a half hour show but Im fairly certain it will go MUCH longer what with showing off and sex and what Im sure will be a wonderfully fun story about the contest the night before. 

Maor took Lea out to the indoor park and asked a couple of times if I wanted to come too. I told him that even though it is just a cold I am a snotty coughing mess and it would be horribly irresponsible of me to go touching a bunch of stuff little kids are crawling all over. Thats how epidemics start. 

So I cleaned the house a little, started some laundry and have now made a nest on the couch of tissues and tea (in my Stileproject mug) and am watching the Olympics while pretending to be Canadian so I can see them live. Yay technology.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Cakes and nests

A local radio station does a contest every year around Valentines day called "Duds to Studs". Women tell their stories of how their men are unromantic and the top 25 make their husbands or boyfriends compete for a chance to win a trip to Mexico on Valentines day.

I have no idea how I missed this last year but this year Maor and I were in the car together while they did the bit with a woman who was picked to be one of the top 25. Maor has done some less than romantic things. Overall Im happy but there have been a few times that where if people only heard that one story they would ask why I was with him. I asked him if he would be mad if I entered us in the contest. Luckily he is of the same mind set of me in a free trip to Mexico is worth being embarrassed over.

So I emailed in my sad 100 word story of our first vacation where he invited his cousin to come along and divulged that the only time he bought me a bra he handed it to me in the bag with the receipt and announced that his mother picked it out.

We were in. I taped a whole bit for the station and everything which they played twice. I got calls at work all day from techs and long time customers that know me about how they heard it. 

So Valentines Day evening Maor and I will be at Mall of America. I will be screaming my head off while Maor tries to dig through cake blindfolded for a heart token with 25 other men. If he wins we get a 7 day trip to Mexico. If he loses we still get movie tickets.

The office is so dead in the winter that while that is what everyone is talking about my accusing my husband of being a horrible romantic they are also starting to spread rumors that Im "nesting" because Ive gotten so bored that I started dusting EVERYTHING. I cleaned out the fridge, I went through every cupboard and filing cabinet, I organized the supply closet in a way that an OCD person would ask for tips. 

The managers brought it up today while I was trying to wash a window while it was so fucking cold outside that the Windex was freezing INSIDE before I could wipe it off. 
I told them they could worry when I started craving spicy food all the time.

Then somewhere in the middle of scraping off the windex from window I realized I havent had my period in a LONG time. Last time was was the end of December before we left for Israel.
But we did have that accident where I needed to take a reset pill... but that was only about a week later so I should have had my period by now. I started to panic. I did the math in my head of how much daycare alone would be with 2 kids. I almost passed out in the entry way of our building.

Then I got half way through this post expecting a "maybe there is a baby" ending but got the horrible pain saying "nope."

Which creates a new problem.... tomorrows show. 

Im going to leave it up to you guys. I obviously cannot preform to my full potential for a few days. 
Should I push it off till next weekend or carry on?

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Leas first time sledding

I have no voice! ...again...

I think its really weird that ever since I had Lea after I get sick I flat out loose my voice. I can feel like Im dying but still be able to talk but 3 days after that when Im feeling much better I sound like someone violently ripped out my voice box.

So because I cant talk here is a video I think is cute of Lea's first time sledding where I could scream for her.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Snapped: Office Edition

I would like to think in the work place Im a very level headed person. Im very good at counting to ten and ignoring the trivial things.

However, when Im not feeling the best and moments from "that time" of the month it is NOT a good time to test my work place patience.

The annoying coworker has been making snide remarks in full force since I got back from Israel (I assume because things got a little heated between her and the coworker that has been around forever). She makes snippy comments while shes walking away from you and when she knows she may have done something wrong announces "Oh my god Im going to get in trouble!!" in a croaky whinny voice that says "I may be trying to make a joke or I may be an asshole" and then you have to force out of her what she may or may not have screwed up. Its incredibly annoying...especially when you have to deal with this all day EVERY day.

This morning I woke up and didnt feel quite right. I brushed it off as a cold Monday I didnt want to face and headed to work. As the day went on the sickness hit and I became lethargic, my throat got sore, and my face felt like someone was pushing against it.
The coworker who has been around forever was getting on my nerves because she was nit picking about things that didnt even need looking in to... like she does...nothing new and occasionally it comes in handy but more often than not its an eye rolling situation. I got a little snippy with her but told her I wasnt feeling good so I assume she didnt notice at all.
The annoying coworker though... she worked at my nerves all day with her dramatic sighing like everything was so hard (the job is NOT hard, thats why I picked it) and comments and acting like she was so damn busy.
I started my bitchy payback when I was feeling a little icky, but was also very bored, by walking up to her desk and asking the air if a month end task she was supposed to do had been done. It wasnt so I snatched it off her desk and did it myself. I also filed her paperwork which until then I had refused to touch out of principle because she refused to help anyone else.
She countered when the regional manager asked for a certain techs paperwork and we told him it was already filed. He said that was impressive. She pipped in "Well its month end! Im on top of things!"
I thought, "Your welcome bitch" but said nothing.

The afternoon went like a bit of a tennis match between the experienced employee and her while we went through the month end paperwork. Like a little ping pong match except replace the "ping" and "pong" with a blunt question and an annoying whining answer that blames anyone that isnt in the room.

The experienced admin gets to leave at 3:30 (because she starts an hour earlier than me and only takes a half hour lunch)
Before she left she gave the annoying one the final strict instructions of "DONT MESS WITH ACCOUNTS DURING MONTH END!" which if she had been paying attention in the last 3 months before hand meant "Dont mess with prices and dont run credit cards."

About a half hour later I listened to the annoying one put in a sale over the phone. I got up to pull reports off the printer and she announced "OH MY GOD!! NOW IM GOING TO GET IN TRRUUUBBLLEEE"
I lost it right then and there, slammed my hand on the counter, whipped and and said, "Is that REALLY necessary??"
She crumpled in her chair and said, "I dont know what you mean?"
I croaked "The constant comments! What EXACTLY do you think your going to get in trouble for?"
She whispered "Entering stuff in to the system"
I threw the reports I needed into the pile I need them to be in then half heatedly glanced at the thing that print out she created and said "If you were ever paying attention you would know your not in trouble. Your fine."
(FYI, if she entered the sale right then she would be fine. If she didnt than she isnt and its no skin off my nose at this point if she cant. Especially when she has a habbit of just DOING shit with out ever asking HOW to do it..which is another major pet peve. Honestly, if you dont know how to do something or arent sure, why the hell wouldnt you fess up and ask? I always do even if I really did know the answer and look like a complete idiot which Im almost certain I always do but who cares because I get my shit done right.)
I went back to my desk.
I took a few calls.
Annoying woman got up and because I was watching her, asked me where certain paperwork went which made me go "You've been here for how long?" and "OH SHIT!"
I made a change that I shouldnt have. Its not a horrible mistake, just more work for someone else. So I outlined the mistake I made for someone else on a post it note on their desk while mumbling to myself  "Crap, crappity, crap, crap!!"
Annoying woman walked down the hall away from me saying, "IS THAT COMPLETELY NECESSARY!" In a tone that indicated she was talking to herself but wanted you to hear.

I looked up and saw red. I screamed down the hall "Seriously? Would you like to say that to my face?!"
She walked back and said, "Your not in trouble. "

At the time I didnt understand what she was trying to say so I went off. Now I know she was saying "You cant get in trouble here." Which make me even angrier.

I stayed seated while she walked back to me. I told her "I dont care if Im in trouble with YOU or anyone else for that matter. I do not like the comments you make. I honestly cant tell if your joking or trying to be sarcastic. I know I just made a mistake. I've done all I can to make it less of a shuffle to get through. What I dont like is your snide comments!"
She said "I thought I was being like you."
I looked her right in the eyes and said "Thats the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. If you want to be anyone, you should be yourself."
I wanted to add that she was acting like my 14 yr old brother 90% of the time. Shes a 50 yr old blob of grumpy play-dough. She wanted to be lots of things but she is set in ways that maybe she doesnt even know shes set in.
You cant push crumbling play dough in to the ice cream maker...even if it tried to be soft on the outside.

About 10 minutes later I fessed up to my boss and another manager what I did. I snapped. I walked in to the office and explained that I couldnt take it anymore. I explained the situation. I explained how much she annoyed me. I explained that due to my not feeling well everything was at a time 10 level.
They understood.

I have a problem. Normally now I would say "Its her or me" because she is just THAT annoying. Only problem is I love my job. Its easy. They understand when I need to leave for Lea emergencies, and I really wouldnt want to let them say "bye bye" and leave the experienced employee hanging. I love the experienced employee. She is a lot like me. Shes been through more horrible things than I could experience...seriously her life is like god damn greek tragedy. We have the same birthday. Someday Im going to remember the day her son died and Im going to find an appropriate "Im really sorrry but nothing can replace him." gift.
I have NEVER had a work place where I have wiggled my butt down so firmly and said "Nope, not going anywhere."

Im not going! The annoying woman can move the fuck on.

Friday, January 17, 2014

What am I going to do with myself?

Well we are back from vacation. I've been waiting to not be dead tired to actually do a post about the whole trip with pictures. I'll probably do that tomorrow.

This weekend is going to be the first weekend in close to 6 months that Maor, Lea, and I are going to be alone. My aunt was with us every weekend for 5 months while she was here doing travel nurse stuff then we left for Israel.

What the hell are we going to do with ourselves? My aunt was a go go go kind of person and took pictures of EVERYTHING. On a boring weekend she would take 200 pictures. Most of them were of Lea.
Now Im not going to be dragged to the houses of family members I dont actually know. Im not going to have anyone to go with me to the tourist spots. Who is going to slap 5 recipes from magazines on the counter and cook with me all day? Who is going to wake up with Lea at 6am??? Who is going to watch Lea so Maor and I can have a date night?

On the one hand I am happy to have some just me Maor and Lea time....or just me and Maor time with no one in the living room that we could possibly wake up if we get too excited... but Im going to miss my aunt.

By the way Im doing a show on Camwhores tomorrow, because I can do shows on weekends now again.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Possible show

Maor and I will be heading to a romantic cabin. We fully intend to spend 24 hours eating, drinking, boinking like bunnies and taking a short sleep and massage break before boinking some more.
We want to do a show. On
I'm not going to schedule a show though because we aren't sure of what time we want to do it or if the cabin will have internet.

We are 7 hours ahead of eastern time so a show may or may not happen between the eastern hours of 7am and 6pm... 

Sunday, January 5, 2014

What day is it?

I was trying to think of how to write this in my head on the way home today but I wasn't sure what day it was. Most of the time I don't even know the time. 

When I last left off we were going to zefat. It is a beautiful city. Very much a hippy town in the mountains.

A few days ago we went to Hamat Gadar. Hot springs smushed between Jordan and Syria. It's very commercial but fun. We ate at the restraunt there and when people asked what I wanted I said "suprise me" because I'm not a picky eater. I got a whole fish. Head, tail, scales, eyes. Maors best friend laughed at my face when they set it down. I did eat it. I couldn't clean it to the point of being just bones like everyone else but I made an effort and it was good.
The hot springs was fun and relaxing. Maor and I had some fantastic sex when everyone went to bed... Which lead to an accident that lead to a trip to the pharmacy the next day.

Lea is bonding with her Grandparents. I'm trying to stay out of the way. Tonight I nixed pudding before bed and I feel bad.

Tomorrow we might do the Dead Sea.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Day 1

We made it to Israel!
The plane ride wasn't bad, Lea was fantastic, but the car we rented was a bust. They wanted $700 more for a deposit than the $250 we put down weeks ago. So after a lot of yelling where Maor called them scam artists we took the train to Haifa and some friends picked us all up. Not that we couldn't afford the down payment.. It was more you tell us one thing and it's another, what is the bill going to be in 2 weeks?

The next day (today) we took Lea out for a walk around town. Took us 2 hours to go 4 blocks. We had to say hi to everyone. 
It was 60 out and sunny. Much better than the -4 we left.

Lea took a 2 hour nap after lunch. She has as many toys here as she does at home now.  Her aunts got her a trike! 

After nap we met great grandpa. We named lea after his late wife. He cried. Lea danced with him and we got some good pictures. 

Then we went and saw Claries (Maors moms sisters) new house. It's huge. I want her kitchen. 
Lea made friends with their dog Macho...a small dog wearing a sweater that Claries son Aden and I joked doesn't live up to his name. 

Lea is having a good time. Daddy is telling his family to back off when they get in her face and all try to get her attention at once. They said hes too bossy but I'm very proud. 

Tomorrow we are going to sefat or zefat sounds like isfat.. I googled it and the spellings are all different. 

I feel like we never left. I don't feel awkward at all. It could be because I don't know what anyone is saying most if the time.
Our English is already worse. I do half English half Hebrew and I've dumbed down my English so people can understand me. I can't do sentences in Hebrew so I just throw in words I know. Maor is all Hebrew. We tell anyone speaking English to lea to stop so she can learn. 

We had shawarma for dinner! I'm in heaven!