Saturday, December 19, 2015

Maybe its a sign?

After I came home from Israel I called the pre school Lea was supposed to be enrolled in and said I wanted her in for the next semester. I had her enrollment fee and paperwork in back in August and she was geared up to go till I decided to run half way around the world.
They told me there was still room for the days I wanted and it was no problem.
Last week I went in to drop off her immunization records (that they dont require till 30 days after the child starts) and the lady said she thought all the classes were full and I couldnt get in.
Excuse me? My daughter has been enrolled for half a year. Weeks ago there was no issue but now we are bumped?

I didnt freak out. She said someone would call me and let me know. I havent heard anything. I dont think I will because now its Christmas break. I will call a couple times anyway to try and get an answer starting Monday.

Im thinking this is a sign.
I do really want to visit my older sister and her 2 kids in Malaysia. Maybe we should just go.
I also told my in laws I would try to be back for Passover if I can afford it.

Maybe this is just what is supposed to happen. Instead of being in a structured classroom my daughter will just learn from interacting with kids that dont speak her language (my sister was raised in Germany her kids dont speak much English and of course the Israeli family speaks Hebrew) in a verity of social situations in different cultures.

Its not the American suburban wonder bread way but maybe it will just be our way.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

You havent seen me angry yet

I found out some of the paperwork I got for my divorce was wrong and there is some other stuff you get after you physically file that everyone needs to sign.

Maor still wont answer my calls.

His parents suggested I call his cousin that he still talks to and ask him to call me. So I did.
I was not pleased with what the cousin said.

Maor is not talking to me because he came to visit a couple weeks ago and I wouldnt let him in the house. He also wants to be away from drama. That is complete bullshit. Maor has NEVER tried to come visit. He hasnt even called.

I told his cousin thank you for the information and for trying.

Inside Im in a rage.

He hasnt come to visit. The only drama is coming from his ignoring the fact that hes an adult with a wife and a child.

Ive decided that after Disney Im going up to Minneapolis again and Im going to stay there as long as it takes to hunt him down and get him to sign. Too bad for him I am relentless and know exactly where to go. I also have no shame when Im angry and will tell EVERYONE what he has done till he signs. I dont give a shit. Im building a new life without him all I need is him out.
He can ignore us as much as he wants when Im not legally bonded to him.

Im on the fucking war path now.

Maor, if you still read my blog, you dont want to know whats going to happen when I get up there but I will tell you anyway. You have 2 weeks to stop acting like a child before I rip you out of your hiding place. I will find you, I will ruin whatever reputation you have made for yourself, I will make you sign the fucking divorce papers, and I will smile the whole time after the lies you have spread.

There is nowhere for you to hide. You and I both know I have all means to hunt you down. I will probably beat you with the paperwork too, which is thick so thats no joke.

My anger at this point has no end.


Friday, December 11, 2015

Im not dead yet!

Well, Im still alive.

Israel was pretty damn awesome.
I hate to say it but the stabbings made it more enjoyable. Instead of them feeling like we should go to every tourist spot that I have seen twice already we stayed around Haifa and went to the beach a lot.
I was in heaven.

Yes tourist spots are great and I LOVE seeing historical sites but I was working my regular hours which in Israel is 12am-8am. So I slept for about 4 hours every day because even though they insisted I sleep they are fucking loud by nature. I can hear an Israeli coming from a mile away. I did have ear plugs because I knew what I was getting into....thats how I got my 4 hours of sleep a day.

So, to explain the previous blog post:
I got home the week of my birthday. I told Maor not to come that first weekend because my aunt and grandma were coming for my birthday and Halloween. My family HATES Maor because of what he has said to me, his not paying child support we agreed on, his now frequent disappearing acts, and lots of other things that happened while we were married that just made them angry.
So my asking him to wait till the week after was really for his own benefit. Who wants to show up to see their kid to be greeted by a family that would turn their backs to an accident happening.
He said OK.

After Lea and I got home I became so sick that my parents thought I was going to die and ended up taking Lea for a while.
I had a temperature of 103 for 2 days straight and started hallucinating.
Before I started getting REALLY bad I called Maor 3 days before he was supposed to come visit and asked if he could come early to take care of Lea. He said he couldnt but suggested I go to the hospital told me to call him later.
2 days later when my fever broke and I could kind of function again I remembered it was the day he was supposed to show up. I called him. No answer. Text. No answer. Facebook. No answer.
I went to the hospital a couple weeks later because whatever I had came back. My parents took Lea again.
I texted Maor to tell him I was in the ER. I called his parents when I got out of the ER. Still nothing from him.

That was 11/6. Its 12/12.
Nothing.

Not for my lack of trying. Ive tried calling, texting, facebook, pleading, threats, calling his parents, skype. NOTHING. No answers.

I think hes seeing someone else. I told his parents that because I still talk to them once or twice a week. Hes not even talking to them anymore.

The explains the last post.

So now Lea and I are doing Hanukkah and preparing for Disney.
I dont know what Lea is going to do when Hanukkah ends. Every night now she gets excited when the sun goes down and sits at the table waiting for me to light the candles and give her presents for the night. That ends in 2 days.

We leave for Disney on the 23rd. The whole thing has been planned out because my aunt Mary is stupidly excited and has been thinking about this for a year.
Im just looking forward to some real time off, seeing family I havent got to really visit with in YEARS, a pool, sun, seeing Leas little face when she sees the freaking castle and all her favorite characters.

My whole plan is to wake Lea up super early on the day we leave and give her a new Disney themed backpack (to be determined, I havent been shopping), new coloring book, new crayons, and her Ipod loaded up with her Disney movies and tell her to get her butt out the door. Shes 3 so she wont get it but that part will be for me. We have to drive 3 hours to the airport.

Its going to be fucking magical. We both deserve a fucking magical week.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

This post is for one person.

Maor.

What the fuck?

You have gone M.I.A again.

I dont care what your reasoning is to your parents.

Im currently trying to figure out what to do with you from now on. We will be divorced by the end of the year even if I have to drive up there and make you sign things myself. I wont bring Lea if I do have to come find you. It will just be me and the wrath you know I can bring, behind me.

I just need to figure out what to tell Lea.

Also, Ive decided we are going to Malaysia to visit my sister. I know how much you love the idea of me going to a primarily Muslim country to visit my pro Palestinian family.
Sit on that for a bit.

Happy Holidays.

-Your wife.


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Lost in Translation

Lea and I have made it to Israel.
The flight was hell for me. We left at 7pm on Sunday night. Lea slept all the way to Amsterdam but I couldnt sleep for the life of me. I was too excited/nervous.
I was worried that the thing I have to log in for work would be blocked for some reason. I was worried that everything would be super weird with the family seeing as Im divorcing their son.
So no sleep for me. When we got to Amsterdam I was hoping to check into a hotel that I saw in the airport last year but it was under construction so I walked around with Lea till I couldnt move anymore. I plugged her into Disney movies on the Ipad and slept in paranoid 10-20 minute intervals.
We where stuck there for 8 hours. It actually turned into 10 hours because when they started boarding the flight they announced a security issue and made everyone go through security again. 
We arrived in Tel Avivi at 3:30am on Tuesday (their time). 

I dont remember much about Tuesday. I napped off and on and we went to Great Grandpas house. Then I had to work at 1am on Wed.

My hours for work didnt change and I never planned on asking for any time off. So on a normal day here in Israel I work 12am to 8am. 
My schedule has been run around all day, sleep for 2-4 hours, work 8 hours, sleep another 2-4 hours, run around....repeat.
Energy drinks are about $0.50 when you do the conversion though so I have been living off those.

We have been having a great time. Everyone is being super nice. They are really happy to see Lea. 
We have gone to fairs, bbqs, the beach, pools. Its been awesome so far.

Im actually having more fun now then I ever did coming here with Maor. I get to talk more. If I want something I have to suck it up and communicate or figure out a way to get it myself instead of being a sissy and relying on him to do everything for me.
I feel better about being here now. Depending on if Im still in high spirits at the end of the month and how much I end up spending I think its entirely possible that I could really make this kind of trip once a year no problem.

The only time I felt slightly uncomfortable so far was a total misunderstanding.
Ive been hanging out with one of Maors sister a lot. She asked me if I wanted to go to a pub around 4pm for a beer. I said sure.
So at 3:45 I was hanging out on the couch and she said "Get ready!"
I was wearing a pair of jean shorts and plain t-shirt. I looked down at myself and said "I am ready, I just need to get my shoes."
Her "Noooo! You need to dress up!"
Me "Why? We are going for a beer."
Her "Everyone dresses up to go to the pub."
We argued about it for a little bit and I sighed and put on more of a going out shirt but kept the shorts. We had an argument about how my shorts are beach shorts in Israel.
She tried to dress me in her cloths (we have totally different tastes) and I finally put my foot down and said I wanted to wear jean shorts and wasnt doing my makeup so lets just fucking go.

The pub was not a pub. It was a night club that was confused about the time.
Club dance music, people dancing on the bar, confetti guns.... holy shit.
I had fun but thats not a pub!
Im still arguing with her about the meaning of pub and club.

One week down. 

I hope we get to go to Jeruselem before we have to leave. We where supposed to go yesterday but because of the terrorist attacks we are staying away from it.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Lets get out of here!

Well, I did have Lea enrolled in preschool and swim classes...

Then I lost my damn mind and decided that I should go to Israel to visit the inlaws for a month.

Ok, I didnt really lose my mind. I have a job where I can work from anywhere and Lea doesnt HAVE to be in school for another 2 years so I just decided to take advantage of my flexibility and take Lea to spend time with the other side of her family. They will like it, she needs to get to know that half of the family, and I... am probably going to end up doing some sort of Eat, Pray, Love thing out of all of this.

I need to buy a new phone so I can get international data and texting for free on my plan.
If you would like updates while Im in Israel...keep reading this blog or see my snapchat: Immora or twitter: Immora1
Its free.

If you want to help pay for the new phone.... donate link is over there --->

If you dont, Im getting it anyway because upgrading my phone is cheaper than international rates! And my phone is 3 years old. Im surprised it still works.

I went on a date tonight.  Im torn on how it went. He was nice, interesting, and funny. I really liked him. I dont like that I liked him. Im slightly disgusted with myself for liking him.
If he doesnt like me Im going to be disappointed.
If he does like me Im leaving the country for a month and who will actually wait around for that?
This is a disaster.
If I actually thought I was going to like someone I never would have done this dating thing!



Monday, August 3, 2015

Special post: Where are they now

Its really not a special post. I just havent posted anything in so long its more of an update.

Im feeling much better. I snapped out of my sadness a few weeks ago. Im not even sure how it happened, it really was like something in my head flipped a switch.
I had a huge fight with Maor, again. Hes dropped off the face of the earth, again.
2 days after the fight I just woke up and didnt care anymore.
It also helps that about a week after that my mom suggested Emergenzzzz. Its actually helping me stay asleep at night so Im not exhausted 2 hours I wake up. I do have an issue with horrible nightmares but when I wake up screaming I dont lay awake for hours anymore.
Im in a much better mood. Lea and I are doing a lot more.

I even went on a semi blind date. I knew what he looked like and that he was big into mountain bike racing.
It was....not good.
What I thought was limited information about him was actually ALL the information about him.
The only thing he talked about was biking. The only hobby he has is biking. He quit college after one year to focus on biking.
We went biking. To a restaurant but he was so spacey he kept getting lost (even though he goes to this place a lot). A 2 mile ride turned into 10 miles in 87 degree heat. He thought it was awesome and showed me his app that tracks routes and miles. I was ready to strangle him.
To my surprise he actually texted me later saying he had a great time and wanted to know if I wanted to get together and just chill and watch a movie.
Im pretty sure that was the first time in my life I have gotten a text like that from a nice really hot guy and my reaction was to scream in horror, hide my phone under a pillow, and hope it disappeared. If I have to hear about the joys of biking again I'll hurt someone.

Lea and I went on a girls weekend with 3 of my girlfriends last weekend.
We went to the Renaissance fair which is a 2 hour drive away. No one wanted to wake up at 5am to put on our elaborate costumes and get there by the time the fair opened so we all split a hotel room.
Lea had the best time.
As soon as we told her she was going to see pirates and fairies she kept saying she wanted to find the Sea Witch (a character on her new favorite show Jake and the Neverland Pirates).
We found a couple women dressed like witches and told Lea to go talk to them. Her eyes got as big as dinner plates and she eventually walked up to them. One gave her a marble and told her something but I didnt catch it cause I was trying to get pictures. She was the happiest little thing after and yelled "THANK YOU SEA WITCH!" while we walked away.
We also found a woman dressed as Maleficent who pulled off the look so well you would actually think Angelina Jolie was walking around in character. It was crazy! We pointed her out to Lea and I had a hard time keeping up with her as she ran up to her. She gave her a hug, we took pictures, and Lea asked her if she wanted to come with us. Everyone in a 30 foot radius awwed.
She didnt walk up to one single fairy or "nice" looking person. She was all skulls and bad guys. Thats my baby.
I had my own little following. Kids ran up to me and wanted pictures. 3 little girls gave me leaves and twigs as presents and kept finding me at different times with different friends also dressed up as fairies. They where convinced that I knew every fairy there.
We had a great time. A few of my favorite pictures:








Lea and I have our things we do now. We go to the library, the bakery down the road gives free cookies to kids under 12, Ive found all the good parks in the area, there is a "beach" we go to, the town we are in has a cinema thats great for kids because the sound system isnt that great and its small, and the zoo is a favorite of Leas.

Its not a bad update.