Thursday, November 6, 2014

Fuck you

The final nail is in the coffin. I wont go throwing my dirty laundry all over the internet but I will say Im a strong bullheaded woman who heard something no one should hear in a relationship.

"Your not worth it."

For 2 days I held it together. I started filing for divorce. I held my head up and pushed on. On the 3rd day I crumbled and cried all day long. I should have called in sick to work. Especially after I had to explain to half my family why Maor wasnt home. I didnt. Im not even going to pretend that I really worked. I'll make up the hours Sunday. I feel bad for the people I work with, they probably think Im a scatter brained idiot.  I wasnt focused. I havent been focused. I was so worried about saving a marriage that cant be saved because I REALLY dont like being a 30 year old single mother.

Now I see where I need to be. I need to pull on my big girl pants, focus on Lea and work and maybe get the hell out of dodge. I hate MN. 4 years I havent made any friends. People here are only nice to your face.

I am worth it. Lea is worth it.

Fuck you.


  1. that was a heartless thing to say to you, you are right in ending the relationship and affirming your worth...and telling him to go fuck himself.

    the only thing you can do with a bad outcome or a failure is to learn from it.. not only how he fucked it up (good luck trying to change faults in others, especially assholes) but more importantly where you should have played your cards differently, just so that it doesnt happen again. go back to the beginning and figure out at which forks in the road you went the wrong way. those who care about you dont want to see you get hurt again like this, me included. learning from one's mistakes is part of the recipe to one's own future happiness.

    last time i checked, people anywhere will only be nice to your face and that in general its harder to find close friends as you get older. but i agree a change in scenery and being close to people who care about you will do you and your daughter heaps of good. time to move on with your life, change location, you have more than one good reason to. i know its difficult for you but try to remain positive, but you must. move but move positively not negatively. i'm always hoping for the best for you and confident you will succeed. you are a good person, you are definitely worth it. i wish i was closer around and could be more help to you right now.

  2. That statement can only come from someone who has a limited capacity to love and to reason. He has a child with you. That fact alone makes me want to kick him in the teeth for saying that to you. Not that you need me or anyone else to tell you this, but you are absolutely justified in feeling the way you do. Fuck that chump. I would dispense with the emotion asap and move on. He is not worth the blood, the sweat or the tears. You and Lea will both be better off without him. Easy for me (who isn't a single parent) to say, granted. There is a lot of space on this planet and you have plenty of time here - there is no need to be where you do not want to be or to be with someone who is such a jackass.

  3. And oh yeah, in keeping with the theme of "fuck it" I'd air every thread of dirty laundry on that fucktard so that he thinks twice about taking me for granted and demeaning me. What a douche.