I havent been talking a lot lately. I just feel like if you dont anything nice/good to say dont say anything at all.
ONLY because I am a person who likes to keep up appearances. I am a god damn Princess Kate. My skirt flew up but YOU DIDNT FUCKING SEE A THING *charming smile*
I dont want to rock the boat unless I know its really a titanic with no fucking life boats. I know its the titanic when I need to call my mother. I can hear the violins while I dial her number...or just push the favorites button on my Iphone.
I called my mother tonight.
I told her Maor and I are getting a divorce.
Im grateful that she sounded understanding. She offered to come up for the weekend. I said that would be weird. Im sure if we were in Israel Maors mom would be in in our house before you could say "Oi" which makes me very glad we arent in Israel. When I made the joke to mom she asked where Leas passport was. Its hidden already and has been for 2 months. Thats how deep in we are.
I want to say its a mutual thing. I WANT to say that because while we have been fighting a down hill battle for months I want to think one of us will pop up and find the power to fight on.. Its probably not going to happen. I know my faults. I know what I want. I have made both clear for years. I have made clear what I want out of a partner and its not something Maor is willing to give. (We are not talking caming. Caming has nothing to do with any arguments)
In the same aspect, Maor may or may not know his faults, I cant say if he knows what he wants, but what it is doesnt seem to be me.
Its sad. I want to be angry but Im just sad. We have a child together and cant make things work. I would like to think we dont NOT like each other. Its just a case of us not actually fitting as a couple. We just dont work. I can say with certainty that I tried.
Sometimes people just dont work together.