I could probably write a novel about the past 2 weeks.
Everything has changed. EVERYTHING.
I thought I was going to be cool writing this but Im just going to puke words onto a screen because while I would like to say Im calm and collected Im FREAKING out inside.
I think if I was 18...or even 25 I would be able to handle things better. Being 30 with a 2 year old to take care of this is too much change. Too damn much.
CW is gone. I keep accidentally checking the site because I just want to chit chat or post a picture and it depresses me every time I see that note saying its gone.
I have been thinking about finding a new place to cam again. I could use the extra money and Im actually going a little crazy not being able to flash my boobs (Im weird, I know) but I havent yet. I already know I will NEVER find a CW again and I think the community is what I really want back before the money and the need to flash people.
I moved. I am happier already. The apartment is the perfect size for us, everything is new, the neighbors may or may not exist...I dont know, they are too quiet... and while Im a half hour from a grocery store with reasonable prices we are surrounded by parks so with the weather being so nice we wake up and head straight outside to play.
My mother actually came over for dinner and a movie. Shes NEVER done that before, possibly because I had a cat and shes really allergic.
I had friends come over when I first moved in and they were beyond helpful!! I need to throw a housewarming/Thank you party. Last week I was still putting the house together and this week I have to go back to MN to clean out the last of the crap I couldnt get out 2 weeks ago.
Leas turning 3 next week!
Im sure everyone just rolled their eyes but when I run out of things to stress out about that is what keeps me awake. Shes turning 3. She will be in school in a couple years. The fact that she even dresses herself right now makes me want to burst into tears.
I could still be a little stressed out...
Damnit girl! I am glad you found the time and energy to blog a bit. There are a few others who share this sentiment I am sure. CW shutting down is weird to me too. I never posted nor joined but was a frequent reader. Hell I have been reading the stuff you write since you started writing, but it is your BOOBS that got me interested in your writing. I need to see them as much as you need to flash them. I have watched as the guy before Irish and then Irish and then he who shall not be named has come and gone. Through it all you have been consistently hot and funny. Now you can focus on you and Lea and comic con and ren fairs and whatever else floats your boat without worrying about extraneous bullshit. I am glad you have Lea and more happy that she has you. I want things to work for you both and am looking forward to the day when you are able to turn the page and be excited about things again. Chin up! It's Spring!
ReplyDeletePatagonianshoerat
30, give me a break! ... i wish i had your age. That's 18 years ago for me. Fuck, I would love to be 30 again. I find you actually too young for motherhood...you'd probably be a little less stressed out if you were 35 or so. If I were younger, I'd be first in line to ask for your hand in marriage. Do me a favor and please just consider yourself incredibly lucky! You might not see it now but just believe it, you're lucky! Happy Easter, Χριστός Ανέστη.
ReplyDeleteI am missing the Immora...I hope she is overflowing with the need to be naughty at this point. She may not be able to feel anything until she regains her stability and mojo. I will just have to hold my breath!
ReplyDeleteritchie
and cam4.com seems to get a LOT of worldwide exposure (if that is what the Immora craves) and it has mods to keep the freaks sort of in line....
ReplyDeleteritchie/patagonianshoerat