Today I had the most perfect waste of an hour and $15 because my friends were all, "You should go to Planned Parenthood so can get vitamins and they will tell you stuff."
Seemed like a good idea. Get some vitamins that Im sure would cost a fortune if I tried to go into a doctors office without insurance. Maybe get a due date or some sort of blood test to make sure Im not really carrying some sort of half breed alien monster from space. (I dont even go to the doctor for yearly physicals. I watch TV. On TV if you give a doctor 15 minutes he tells you that your going to die of super black death ice cream cancer then 10 minutes later hes cured you! So dont judge!)
So I went to Planned Parenthood, paid $15, filled out some paperwork, and peed in a cup, then waited a bit. When they called me in the woman asked me to sit down and said, "Your pregnant."
I looked at her and said, "Yeah, I know."
She looked down at the chart and looked back at me and said, "Oh, well you should start looking for a regular doctor."
"Thats the problem. My insurance doesnt work until October so I was hoping to get all that pregnancy stuff you need done here until then."
"We dont do that."
"No. I would give you the forms to get state care but Im pretty sure you wont qualify."
"Your right, I wont. Sooooo.... can I get these pill thingies people keep telling me I should be taking here?"
"No. You can get them at any pharmacy in the vitamins section."
"Ok, well is there any way of knowing how far along I am?"
"When was your last period?"
The lady spins a little paper dial, "Im guessing about 6 weeks."
"Yeah I was guessing that too..."
Annnd that was it.
Such a disappointment.