Monday, August 8, 2011

I can has my house back now?

My father in law lives with us.

That should be the end of my post. Everyone feel my pain. Goodnight.

But it wont be because 
A) Hes not a horrible person. I would never say he is.
B) My foreign father in law is living with us.

My father in law married a crazy trailer trash woman here in the US. I knew she was crazy trailer trash. I knew it wouldn't last. Now we can all say that I have the gift of calling trailer trash as I see it. I wouldnt say he didnt have his faults in the relationship. He does call my husbands mom an awful lot... 

I dont hate my husbands dad being here. He is a very nice man.... but he does kinda drive me crazy...
He sings. Off key, in Hebrew...LOUDLY all day long. My husband does the same thing. It was annoying when it was one person, now its even more annoying in stereo.
He likes to talk for the sake of talking which is my BIGGEST pet peve. Trying to fill awkward silence is one thing, but when Im in the middle of a video game and a 50ish yr old man walks into a room to talk I do not want to pause my game for this:
Him: "You know salad is the healthiest for you."
Me: "Yep."
Him: "You know why its healthy?"
Me: "uh"
Him: "Because its made of vegetables!"
Me: "Yeah... it sure is..."
Also, he cooks. This should be an awesome thing. I work full time now. My husband works full time. Coming home to food should be great! .....Its not.... he uses so much oil in his food that it separates on the plate. There is no flavor and hes PROUD of the fact that he doesnt taste his food while cooking. I've been told that he has owned 3 restaurants in the past. Im pretty sure they failed but no one will actually say it. I dont want to insult him so I just buy food before I leave work and say its left over from lunch. I havent had a day off around him yet. Im coming up on one and Im actually planning lies to get out of the talapia/salmon/canned corn/ oil surprise he so fond of making.I can  now understand why my husband loves my cooking. 

One last problem. I cant walk around my own house naked!! Why the hell should I pay rent when I cant run around in my birthday suit whenever the hell I want! I sleep naked. If I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I have to get up, put on cloths, walk 5 feet to the bathroom, do my business, walk back, get undressed, and go back to bed.

Forget everything else. I want him out just so I can have naked time again. I dont stand for that shit! There is a reason why I never lived with room mates!

*completely unrelated note. Since I got back into the cam thing. I did the camgirl thing and got a wishlist again... but the only thing I could think of off the top of my head that I wanted was a Sonic screwdriver and the Firefly DVD set. So if you want to bring me non naked joy...or want to help my husband locksmith business (cause he would be FUCKING UNSTOPPABLE with a sonic screwdriver) thats here:

Otherwise...send nudz to and add me as a Google+ friend*

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