There was a middle but there is no end

Where did I leave off?
Honestly, I dont remember and I dont care to look back so lets just a super general catch-up to where I am now.

Im just going to lump most events together that lead up to now as depression. Deep dark depression. Honestly, I didnt talk to anyone about it unless they noticed because I got blown off a lot. Now that Im out of my depression people who ask how I got to where I am now say, in my response to my simple answer of "depression", "I didnt think people like you got depressed." To which I would say, "What do you mean, people like me?" And they would respond "Attractive people." or "Funny people."
Thank you, I also think Im attractive and yes, I like to find the funny in everything. If I dont I will go right back into the hole I just got done crawling out of...and I dont want to be in the hole again.

So, that's that. No need for gory details, so dont ask. On to where I am now:

Housing:
After my first year in my last apartment I never signed an on going lease. The landlord just said "Lets just do month to month." I figured he was going to try and sell the building. 2 years later I got a notice saying "Termination of lease." Not an eviction notice. Totally legal. I however was not expecting it after being there for 3 years so I hadent saved for a down payment on a new place plus the first months rent, moving costs, or a storage unit. I was convinced for 28 days that I was shit-out-of-fucking-luck and just packed up my most important things, sold off what I could, and prepared to be homeless.
A friend of mine reached out at the last minute and said they had an extra room I could use. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS SAVED! So I have moved in with my friend, I live in the spare bedroom on an air mattress and have my stuff still in storage bins or suit cases. Its not fancy but its a roof. We work opposite shifts so we only see each other for a few hours on Friday.
Honestly, its like living with a ghost. I walk in to an empty apartment do my thing, go to bed, and when I wake up doors are shut and things have been moved around.
I will owe this friend forever. He says that cleaning the bathroom and doing dishes is enough but Im pretty sure if he ever asked for a kidney in 10 years "He made sure you werent homeless" will be the first thing to pop into my head. Hes seriously set up for organs from me.

What I think is odd: I lost just about everything. Im sure everyone thinks of the perfect scenario where if a fire starts what they would save. Thats what I did. I acted like that was happening. I only took what was most important to me. I was bawling my eyes out for 2 days straight after I moved in with this friend. He seriously let me just curl up on the couch and cry while watching LivePD (thats actually pretty entertaining) and kept dropping pizza and Mexican food in front of me until I snapped out of it. I think he should be a doctor. When I stopped crying I just stopped and went "Well, shit... never hurts to start over does it?"

Lea:
I will not lie. My depression started effecting Lea. She started to tell people I slept a lot. I was forgetting things. It was not good. My parents noticed and took legal guardianship of Lea. I was there at the hearing of course and explained the situation. The judge said that she could see that I was a smart responsible person for being able to understand what I was accidentally doing to my daughter and making sure effects on her were minimal. Yay, Im aware of my effect on the one I love the most. Didnt make me feel better. I actually just got a lot worse for a while.
Up side, shes on my parents insurance which is WAY better than mine so, yay.
I also see her every weekend or day off in general that I have. She always sees me at my best.
As far as I know unless its someone close to me that I have just told no one has actually picked up on the fact that I dont have Lea full time.
Im working on changing that obviously. Now that Im much better I just need the place and the means and I want her back with me. Thats the goal.

Work:
Oh sweet jesus on a pogo stick. I have had so many jobs in the past couple years its sickening. I have either walked out of them or just gotten myself fired for not showing up. Mentally, I just couldnt take them for one reason or another. Constant negativity everywhere, stupidity (and I can take stupidity but this wasnt funny stupidity... this was... go jump off a bridge stupidity.) I just couldnt hack em at the time.
Lucky for me my friend who was kind enough to take me in also happened to know a place that was hiring (its actually always hiring).
Its a non profit company that does assembly, packing, and shipping type work. They hire disabled people (they call participants) and people who have a hard time getting a job for whatever reason (they call them support, I call them line workers). I had never worked in that type of setting and beggars cant be choosers so I took a job as the Quality person.
No one works under me and right in the building no one is really over me. My job description is to go around making sure that product is being assembled/packaged/shipped to customer specifications, do audits, and generally make sure everyone is following the rules.
What I actually do is all that plus I sit down and help on jobs....because I get bored very easily so if I run out of things to check on and paperwork to do Im just going to keep myself busy assembling or packing crap.

Funny thing is... I actually LOVE this job. I can keep myself busy all the time, even my boss who shows up once a week knows that I know what the fuck Im doing so besides saying "Did you look over the job card for *job starting next week*? Yeah. Good." Im just left alone to do my thing.
The participants love me and I think most of them are great (there are a couple that I just do a quick "Hey! *check 5 random pieces* Great job!" and run) but they are problem people such that if you spend too much time around them will either hit you and you dont know why or NEVER LET YOU LEAVE THEIR SIDE!
The participants are my happy place. It doesnt matter how crappy the day is or if 90% of the building is in a horrible mood, 10% are still sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Wendy who constantly asks crazy things like "Can we have a squirrel here?" "Can I pull the fire alarm?" "What would happen if I didnt eat lunch? or just yells "LUNCH TIME!" for no reason constantly cracks me up. AJ likes to talk about watching womens wresting. One guy always wears old school Power Rangers EVERYTHING, never talks, but will randomly just walk up and hug me (Im not a touchy person but he has the mentality of a 6yr old so Im flattered that he considers me safe and I just deal with it like I would deal with a child) . I dont even know his name but I sent an email to Jason David Frank about the guy hoping he reads it and maybe sends a "Good job buddy!" letter to this guy because he doesnt work enough to get any of the little certificates the company has made up for participants. Im also, "Happy friends." with Dale, (he reminds me all the time) and witness to the ridiculously adorable relationship between Gary and Sandy (watch the other sister... that little romance is what I see every day. If you dont go "awww" you are a heartless twat).
With the support staff, or as I like to call them line workers, its a love hate relationship. Because they hire people who have questionable backgrounds we get everything from people who are trying to rebuild their lives, people who just need a part time job to supplement their other disability income, or lazy ass mother fuckers.
I gave myself a reputation pretty quickly with the support staff and the management. Im not above doing your job for you to prove its just that god damn easy (and I'll tell you, no one likes it when a 5'6 skinny white bitch goes "Hold my clipboard." and does a job faster and better) and if you work hard I'll help you with whatever you want. Cant find a box cutter? Here are 2 new ones. Dont want to take out the 2 boxes of catfood that exploded in the heat in the warehouse so its now covered in maggots and smells like something beyond death? I'll at least move it to the side and bat my eyelashes at the manager with the muscles until he takes it out. Whatever you want. If you are lazy though...Im your worst nightmare because I see and hear everything...and I give the most evil look ever which has made people jump right the fuck out of their skin to do whatever it was that I politely asked them to do in the first place.
Yep, I love it. Only thing I dont love is the pay and benefits. Its a non profit so both are shit.
Im working to trying to find something similar with better pay.

Dating:
Im going to leave this as an "Im trying."
Unless it pops into my head none of the past horrible dates will be mentioned. Lets just start fresh here.
I am trying to date. Its not going well. More to come...probably soon.

There, we are all caught up. From now on Im going to blog like normal.

Hold on to your butts.