Last night my work crush sent me a message saying come find me when you get in and hinted us being naughty while the place was mostly empty.
I was actually psyched to walk in the door for two reasons:
1) Im really kind of getting off on this whole secret sexual stuff, its like space camp all over again only this time we will still be stuck in the same place 2 weeks later so if we say "I'll call you." one of us better follow up or move out of state REALLY quick, and getting caught isnt a call to home... its a call to HR.
2) I never have anything to do the first hour that Im there. Unless something went wrong right before quitting time the day before Im just walking around the building trying to look like Im doing something for no god damn reason.
So I was excited. Nothing went horribly wrong Wednesday night so I can clock in shimmy over and see if he has the balls to try something in a place with a lot of cameras...and I mean a FUCK TON of cameras. Weee!!!......
That is not what happened.
Not only did I NOT get any of my blog wishes granted (see previous post) Im pretty sure something out there went "Oh..no, no no no...this would be more fun...."
I walked in an immediately a coworker goes "I think there may have been a fuck up." She explains. No big deal. Walk to my desk......and didnt even make it there because overnight about 40 of the damaged "waters" fell off a pallet on the floor and created a HUGE fucking mess. So I rolled my eyes and went back to the front to get paper towels to try and kind of clean up the mess until the janitor got there. After I find paper towels (which was not easy... he hides stuff that people are going to want really well. The door is locked and no one but management should know about the hidden key so apparently managers are like, "If I want tissues, Im getting some god damn tissues.") Im walking back to the back of the floor when I see all the managers in a huddle. I think, "Whats that about? Could be A. B, or C..." when a line worker who creeps me out suddenly walks by and says "You arent going to say hi to me?"
I look at him still walking and go, "Uh..wha? Hi. Sorry. Im busy!"
Trying to clean up the mess with paper towels did nothing. I picked up the bottles and vowed never to try the product because the "water" congealed on the floor. The paper towels didnt even start to soak up anything until I stepped on them and when I picked them up what was left over looked like the fat used to make soap in Fight Club.
Then the most annoying line lead we have that came up to me. The woman cant multitask to save her life. Shes not even trusted to use a computer alone to print labels so she usually comes to me to watch her to make sure she does it right. Guess what she needed? Labels. Not even for a job shes running, for the next job that she didnt start until after lunch.
So many bizarre and frustrating things happened that when I finally finished something I actually need to do by a certain time every day I thought, "Oh thank god its almost lun....wait...fuuucckkkk we havent even been through first break. Oh, Im going to cry."
I was walking through the floor when my crush rolled by on a forklift and said, "You're quiet today."
My response, "OH MY GOD!!"
A little later I heard someone say they were done with a project that was being done in a back room in the office. Yes, I'll just go do last checks on that and take a really long time.
As Im walking by my crush who is talking with a couple other managers: "Oh, if you need me Im going to be in the office doing checks for a bit."
I got in the office and their version of done is not my version of done. They were done with ONE part....not the second. So crush came walking through, both of us pulling poker faces in front of 2 other people in the room, then comes back and says: "If you have a second, I need help setting up X for Y."
Me: "Ughhh today wont end! Fine. I'll be right back."
Coworker: "Ha! Her favorite part of this job."
*Bullshit talk... get stuff....bullshit bullshhh..."
Him whispering: "I thought you were inviting me to come see you."
Me: "I was. Nothing is working out for me today. Apparently 'Done' does not mean what I think it means to other people."
And the Oscars go to...
I'll spare all the other details in between fun stuff besides this one...
A new manager pissed me off. REALLY pissed me off. Im not sure if he just has a voice that says "Im an asshole." or if he meant to sound like an asshole when he said, "Sooo, what do you do?" but I instantly wanted to backhand him. Then while talking with someone else about nothing I said, "Im from Maine."
Possibly asshole manager: "That itty bitty state?"
Me thinking hes joking: "Heh! *realizing hes not joking* No. No. That big state right up there in the corner of the map."
He gives me a blank look: "Well I know its east."
Later I was standing at the end of a long row of pallets waiting for one to be pulled out for me. The new manager is coming into the path and the fork lift driver honked just before pulling out of the row like he should but this dickwad didnt stop until he saw the fork lift coming out of the corner of his eye.
Possibly asshole manager: "You were going to let him hit me."
Me *with a dead eye stare*: "I thought you heard him beep."
Manager: "I didnt know where it was coming from."
Me: "Whoops."
(Pro tip: Dont ever get on my bad side.)
If you want a happy ending to this day let this be the last paragraph that you read in this post.
My crush and I did find a few minutes in the day to talk about stuff other than work which, unfortunately, makes me want him more. Hes hot and adorkable.
We made out for a second and I lost the game of chicken. He was very ready to just go at it right there and I noped out. Couldnt do it. I could feel myself turning bright red and thinking "Shit, what if we get caught."
So I left work going "Is it like 90 out?" while everyone was saying it felt like a nice fall day.
Im also having a very hard time getting this devious look he gave me out of my head. You can toss out all the really dumb sexual innuendos he said in conversations. That look was just screamed "Its a really good thing Im wearing pants."
He won that round.
Sadly though...
About an hour before the end of the day the participants person came up to me and told me one of my favorite participants dad had died. His brother was about to pick him up and he may never come back (Hes moving to another state so his brother can take care of him.)
I went up to him waiting at the door with her and another person who will miss him to say goodbye. He gave us both a big hug and talked about how he was going on an airplane to a new house. This participant is probably in his 70s with the mentality of a 6 yr old. Im going to miss him so much.
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