Good feeling gone

Today I woke up feeling like today was going to be a great day. Our company had its holiday party so everyone was excited for free food, its a Friday, and I was finally getting my wipers fixed on the car.

I got a pumpkin latte this morning, buzzed through my work so I would have plenty of time to enjoy eating and chit chat, and was wearing a very festive santa hat that said "bah humbug" and blinked provided by another admin. I was in the middle of my giant plate of BBQ chicken when Maor called.

He was beat up and mugged last night and as per his normal he had been carrying a lot of cash (hes just the type of person that prefers to see his money...drives me nuts for obvious reasons).
I went through a very wide range of emotions. I was worried about how badly he was hurt, hes pretty beat up and might go to have his ribs checked out because they hurt the worst but considering they were carrying knives he came out ok. I was panicked over the amount of money they took because it really doesnt help our financial situation. I was pissed over him carrying cash. Then I felt horribly guilty for yelling at him about it because what if him just giving them the money was the only thing that kept him from getting stabbed?
I started feeling dizzy and nauseous from thinking about how hes hurt, his pride seems broken, and even thinking about how close I could have been to losing him just puts me over the edge. So I spent the rest of my lunch picking at my plate trying to act normal because I didnt want to cry at work.

Then someone pulled up the news and we started reading about the school shooting. I dont know why but I instantly worried about Lea....so I had to run to the bathroom to throw up from stress.
Everyone at work was very deeply effected by the news. There are only 2 people I work with who dont have children. So the mood when from goofy to somber and outrage pretty damn quickly. Everyone went home early except me and one other admin because we needed to stay and man the phones.

I gave Lea extra hugs and kisses and snuggles, to the point where she was getting annoyed with me getting in the way of her playing.

Im so lucky that we are all safe, even if we arent together and we're going through some hard times we are ok.

I feel horrible for the people who cant say that tonight.