Monday we went to the hospital in the afternoon because I once again thought my water had broken. It hadent but I was also starting to have real contractions. They werent too painful and 10 minutes apart so I was sent home.
They got worse. The pain was horrible but I refused to even try to go to the hospital again until they were 2 minutes apart.
At 2am on Tuesday I woke up Maor and told him we needed to go to the hospital.
We checked in and they got me hooked up to gadgets. I was only dilated to 1 when I got there (1 out of 10). A nurse gave me some drug that begins with an n to try and take the edge off the contractions so I could get a little sleep while they waited for me to dilate more.
At 7am the nurses switched and the new nurse that came in was less "what do you want to do?" and more "Im telling you what to do". She checked me and I was only dilated up to 3. After she checked me she started playing with my IV. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was upping my liquid so they could give me an epidural. I didnt ask for the damn epidural yet and didnt want to be stuck in the bed for the whole damn day when I was dilating so damn slowly so I told her to hold off and let me go walk around and at least wait for my mother to get to the hospital.
At 1pm my mother was there and the militant nurse had decided that I was getting patocin because I was taking too damn long. Patocin forces contractions and while I did want the baby out I had heard horrible stories about how Patocin makes you fell like your dying. I told the nurse I wanted to go for another walk because as soon as they did the patocin I wanted that damn epidural in case the rumors were true.
......the rumors were really fucking true for me. A half hour after they pumped me full of patocin my contractions were so bad I was sobbing and shaking in pain. It was hands down, the worst fucking pain I have ever felt in my entire god damn life. It was so bad that when a contraction stopped I looked at Maor and his eyes were red (he doesnt cry, that is the closest I have ever seen him to crying). They were so bad that I didnt even feel the god damn epidural go in.
After that I shot up to 10 within a few hours.
I couldnt feel anything while pushing except pressure. Maor watched the whole thing. Im personally glad that I didnt see or feel shit until after they pulled her out and put her on my stomach.
I had to be sewn back together by the doctor. The healing process is a bitch. I feel like someone kicked the shit out of me.
We were only in the hospital for 2 days. Thank god cause the staff didnt communicate well so getting anything was a huge pain in the ass.
After that I shot up to 10 within a few hours.
I couldnt feel anything while pushing except pressure. Maor watched the whole thing. Im personally glad that I didnt see or feel shit until after they pulled her out and put her on my stomach.
I had to be sewn back together by the doctor. The healing process is a bitch. I feel like someone kicked the shit out of me.
We were only in the hospital for 2 days. Thank god cause the staff didnt communicate well so getting anything was a huge pain in the ass.
This is my Lea all cleaned up. I must say she is the cutest damn thing on the planet.
Oh my GOD. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!!
I would say that about sums up my view (as a male) of what (I believe) pregnancy and birthing must be like for a woman, and is one of the ten bazillion reasons I'll never have kids.
ReplyDeleteI feel awful for you (especially the sewed-up part; it means you likely tore, and that could/will affect your sex life from this day forward), what you went through, and the staff (sans the first nurse) who treated you like a piece of meat. This isn't the first time I've heard of women being treated like this during a time where they need to be treated with extra care and respect. All this also might explain why a friend of mine (who's had 2 children) had both of hers via C-section.
I'm glad not every person's experience mimics yours, and I'm also very glad you're doing well + baby is healthy -- those are the good things -- but I'm also glad you've learned something in the process.
Going forward, think of this: ask yourself just how on earth people can have 3, 4, or even more children. I find such absolutely batshit crazy, given how overpopulated the world is, how it's very difficult to afford (financially and the time!) to take care of one child (solo or even together). The only honest answer I've gotten from people who have had lots of kids when asked "Why did you have so many?" is "Because I wanted them" -- it's just a total "fuck everyone, I'm doing what I want" attitude, and it blows my mind to this day.
All my opinions aside though, given your experience and your yet-to-come experiences, I think you will be a very honest, very good mum. Just don't become one of those parents who becomes so utterly blind that they tolerate or try to "justify" bad behaviour and clinical disorders (imagine a newborn, from 1 month to 16 months, being narcoleptic -- I know a girl who has such a kid) from/with their children. The best parents I've ever known are ones who are reasonable and honest with their kids. You are that type of woman. Do the right thing. :-)
Happy mommyhood!
Oh and I forgot - she's beautiful!
Deleteeet
Coming from a dude that has not experienced parenthood you need to heavily discount some of what good ole koitsu has typed in above. Sex is not any different after your episiotomy - that dude has no clue. They are more common than not - especially for a first pregnancy. They can actually sew it up so that it is smaller. I'm not going to give you any more free advice until I see you ask for it on here OTHER than to tell you to get rest when the baby does. I hope things go great for y'all and am looking forward to you feeling better soon. You have done nothing less than perform a miracle - you have given life! You ought to be celebrated and pampered for a while. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
ReplyDeleteeet
I really hope you continue your ability to ignore bullshit comments from people who have no idea what they are talking about. I do envy that about you, y'know :)
ReplyDeleteLea is adorable. I am sorry her birth wasn't as easy as I would have hoped for you. Congrats to your new family!